well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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