If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
