Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
