I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
