Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
bring money and cleavage
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize