she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize