I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
