i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
