the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
