you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
