oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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