looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
