I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
