We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize