Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
God I need to hump something, right now.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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