we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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