apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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