Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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