he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
so let's talk penis.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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