FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize