I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize