even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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