Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Are we still banned from the library?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
