Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
