Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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