I think i sorta joined a cult last night
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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