So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
