Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
