Plan B is the new Plan A
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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