We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
