A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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