She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
