I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize