let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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