sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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