could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You need Xanax blowdarts
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
