i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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