where am i from again
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
