I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
only if we run a train.
done.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
