im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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