so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
