So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
