Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize