Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
