is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
