Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
