Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
