Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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