only if we run a train.
done.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize