Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
