i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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