Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
