I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
