Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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