I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
