Don't make out with my wife yet
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize