What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I am naked and annoyed.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
