he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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