I intend to get homeless drunk
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My vagina just clenched in fear
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
