just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
